Embracing the Glimmers: Finding Light After Leaving the Darkness
Healing from a toxic relationship isn’t always a linear journey. It’s not just about the big moments of growth or the dramatic shifts in your life—it’s also about the small, seemingly insignificant moments that help you feel alive, safe, and grounded again. These tiny sparks of light, called glimmers, are often overlooked, but they hold immense power in the healing process.
What Are Glimmers?
Glimmers are those brief, fleeting moments that make your heart feel lighter, your body relax, and your mind take a deep breath. They’re the little signs that you’re moving forward, even if it feels slow or uneven. Unlike the big "aha" moments or the flashes of clarity that come with major breakthroughs, glimmers are more subtle. But just because they’re quiet doesn’t mean they aren’t significant.
They’re like the first rays of sunlight after a storm, the scent of your favorite flower, or the sound of your own laughter after days of feeling numb. These moments tell you that there is still beauty in the world, and that you’re still capable of experiencing it. They are proof that you are healing, one tiny step at a time.
The Power of Glimmers in Healing
When you’ve been in a toxic relationship, especially one where emotional manipulation, gaslighting, or control were present, it’s easy to feel disconnected from joy. You may have been numb for a while, not even knowing how to experience happiness again. You might even doubt that the world can still be a place of safety, connection, and peace.
That’s where glimmers come in.
The more you notice these little moments of light, the more you build a foundation of safety and peace in your life. They serve as gentle reminders that the pain isn’t the only thing you carry. The joy, the hope, and the possibility are still inside of you, waiting to be rediscovered. Glimmers are like small breadcrumbs that lead you out of the darkness and back to yourself.
Examples of Glimmers to Look For:
The feeling of soft sheets when you climb into bed after a long day.
A deep breath of fresh air when you step outside.
A smile from a stranger, or a hug from a friend who understands.
The sound of your favorite song playing unexpectedly on the radio.
The warmth of the sun on your skin after days of cold weather.
A quiet moment where your mind is at ease, even for just a second.
Laughter shared with someone who makes you feel safe.
A sense of pride when you accomplish something small—like making your bed or cooking a nourishing meal.
How to Start Noticing Your Glimmers
You might be surprised at how much light there is, even in the midst of tough times, but often, it’s a matter of noticing it. It’s easy to get swept up in the heaviness of the journey or to focus on how far you still have to go. But taking a moment to embrace these glimmers can shift your focus from what’s been lost to what’s still here.
Try this simple exercise to start noticing glimmers in your day:
Pause for a moment. When you wake up, when you’re walking outside, or when you’re sitting down to eat—pause for just a second. Let the world around you settle.
Check in with yourself. How does your body feel? What do you notice with your senses? What’s something small that makes you feel safe or connected, even for a moment?
Appreciate the glimmer. It doesn’t matter how small. The warmth of the sun, the comfort of your favorite sweater, the sound of a bird singing—take a second to just be with it. Say “thank you” in your heart for the simple, beautiful thing you’re experiencing.
A Glimmer Journal Prompt:
*What was one glimmer you noticed today? How did it make you feel?
*Write it down, even if it seems small. These little moments add up to big healing over time.
Why Glimmers Matter
Glimmers are proof that healing doesn’t always come in the form of grand gestures or instant transformations. It’s in the quiet moments—the ones that let you feel safe, human, and connected to something greater than the pain you’ve been through. When you start noticing glimmers, you’re training your mind to see beauty and hope, even in the middle of your healing process.
It’s okay if the healing feels slow at times. It’s okay if you’re not where you want to be yet. But as you embrace the glimmers, you’re moving in the right direction. Step by step, moment by moment, you’re finding your way back to yourself.
So, let me leave you with this: There is light in your life, even if it feels hard to see right now. Keep looking for it—keep embracing those little moments—and soon, you’ll realize how much light you’re surrounded by.
You don’t have to heal all at once. But you do need to celebrate the glimmers, because they are your signs of progress, and they are real.
If you ever need support on this journey, I’m here. Let’s talk through any questions you might have or dive deeper into how you can start embracing more glimmers. You can reach me anytime at kerry@kerryrasenberger.com.
And remember, even the smallest glimmer is a sign that you’re moving towards the light.
